Thursday 5 September 2019

How to make friends at uni - Holly's Declassified Uni Survival Guide

























Hello, hello and welcome to the third post in my back to uni series, 'Holly's Declassified Uni Survival Guide'. In a University full of freshers flu, last-minute assignments and the occasional hangover, Holly Smith, that's me, and well it's just me, try to do the impossible, create a guide that will help you survive university.  

Today's post is all about making friends. Going off to Uni can be really daunting (for I would say 99% of people) and I know one of those major areas of anxiety can be the thought of making new friends. You're in a whole new place (often miles and miles from home), in a completely new situation with, for most people, nobody you know and it is scary! So I am here today to give you some practical advice to ease your worries and help guide you through the madness that is freshers.

1. Get involved
This is a pretty vague statement but it is vague for a reason. There are so so SO many ways to get involved at uni which is great because it means you will almost definitely find something for you. You could join a society (there is a society for everything!), volunteer, get involved in your course, join a sport or get involved in one of the many other ways! Push yourself out of your comfort zone and see what your uni can offer for you.

2. Take charge
One of the easiest ways to make friends is to take charge and make plans. You will meet so many people during your time at uni, especially in those first few weeks. If you meet someone you click with, arrange to hang out! It could be grabbing a coffee, going out or even just attending a fresher event. It can be a little daunting to initiate the first interaction but somebody has got to do it and especially in those first few weeks people are dying to make friends and will likely be glad you asked!

3. Be realistic
Realistically, making friends takes time. While freshers can act as a bit of a catalyst, it still takes time before you have people you can truly consider a friend. Meet lots of people and get to know them but don't get worried when you feel you haven't made good friends yet. Things like this take time and making sure you go in with realistic expectations will ensure you don't get dishearted when things don't go perfectly (spoiler alert- there is no perfect!!). Enjoy the process and relax.

4. Don't try too hard
When you find yourself alone, you start to feel pretty desperate to friends. This is fine and totally makes sense because hello who likes to be alone? That being said, if you're stressing about it and trying too hard, things can backfire. Not only can trying too hard lead you to trying to change yourself in order to be liked but also it might mean you miss out on some even better friends. Let me explain. Particularly with university, it can be easy to cling to the first people you meet. Now it's great if you gel with those people straight away, but try not to limit yourself to those people exclusively. If you find you just don't click with someone, realise that you don't have to be friends with everyone, let it go and try to find some people more your type.

5. Be yourself
I would argue that the single most important piece of advice about making friends is this - possibly the most cliche advice going, but it is cliche for a reason! I have found myself in the situation before where I was so desperate to be liked that I started acting like (what I thought) someone they would like would act like. I felt disconnected, unhappy and ultimately alone. As soon as I let go of this concept of who I was meant to be and just accepted myself for who I am, I found I connected with people easier, I was happier and ultimately I made friends! The funniest part of that story is that actually, those people liked me just as much when I was really being myself, if not better because we connected so much better.

There we have my 5 top tips for making friends at uni. If you're about to head off to uni (or college as they say in the US of A) then just remember to be yourself, be kind and you will find your tribe.








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Sunday 1 September 2019

August Roundup 2019.


How is it the end of summer already? This summer has flown by but I actually feel really ready for autumn. I think with our English summer you can often feel like you've been cheated for a summer and while it still hasn't been ideal, I really feel like we had a few really good summer weeks and it has been incredible. 

I used to blog about all sorts of things I was up to in my life and I love reading back on those so I really wanted to try and incorporate some more of this in my blog, such as doing monthly roundups, such at this one! So here is what I got up to this August...

Back towards the start of the month my mum and I popped over to one of my best friends, Emma, for a gorgeous summer lunch and walk with her Mumma. I absolutely adore them both and always have the best time when we are all together- such a perfect way to start the month!

A little later in August, I went for drinks with two more of my best friends, Angelique and Becky, in Bath. These days with our ever conflicting schedules we rarely get time together all three of us together and so this was amazing to catch up. I am pretty sure I spent the whole evening laughing. 

I went for a lovely gin and jazz night with my mum, sister, and aunt. Gin is one of my favourite alcoholic drinks, especially in summer and I've really been loving jazz lately so this was such a dreamy evening. Live jazz is incredible and creates such an amazing vibe!

I had to pop back up to Notts to complete some exams I missed and my lovely friend (Becky  - I mentioned her earlier) came to keep me company. It was so much fun and totally made having to do exams worth it. I took her to my favourite spots, we drank coffee and cocktails, took a trip to the arboretum and made the most of the 'beach' in the city centre - I love all the things they have going on in market square throughout the year! Such a fun trip!

Finally, to bring out summer to a close, we took a quick trip to the Cotswolds as a family. We had perfect weather and spent our time fishing (or trying to at least), swimming and going to the water park/lake. It was such a fun little trip!

So that was my August, in highlights anyway. Not pictured is the stress of exams causing huge stress breakouts and anxiety, bad days and illness. Peaks and valleys my friends! I can't wait to see what next month holds as I move into my seconds year uni house- so exciting! 

Speak soon,



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