Monday, 7 January 2019

A blogmas fail and a happy new year.

I guess this is going to be my first post of 2019. I love my blog and I was really feeling like 2019 was going to be the year I dedicated to my blog, but unfortunately life has had a different idea.

Firstly let me say how gutted I am that I failed at Blogmas 2018. This was my first ever attempt at Blogmas and honestly, considering my troubles with consistency, the fact I made it to day 11 was pretty impressive to me. Here is a little explanation as to why I failed (in the wonderful words of some well known person, it is only a failure if you fail to learn from it). Firstly, shiz got busy. I finished my Autumn semester on the 14th of December and that final week was busy. I had an assignment to stress over and bags to pack and socialising to do (because we made it through our first semester woooo!) and I was ill (more on that in a minute) and something had to drop. That something unfortunately being Blogmas. However, I really did love doing Blogmas and already am getting excited at the thought of trying it again this year. 

Now lets talk health. I have been pretty open with my health on my blog over the last few years as I have had my fair share (arguably more than my fair share) of struggles. Well, here we are facing another health struggle. This is the primary reason for my lack of blogging lately and why I almost didn't write this post. So here is my issue. I have had a headache everyday for 80 days straight. Along with these joyous headaches I would get vision problems. Then, on Boxing Day, I woke up with the headache, my eyes had gone funny and well, it's been that way ever since. Before, the headaches while annoying and a little concerning, were not consistent. Today is day 12 of my consistent headache and vision problems. There has not been one minute in the last 12 days that my head has not hurt and no medication is even touching it. It gets worse at certain points in the day. I get pretty bad nausea. My eyes are struggling and I just don't feel like myself. It's pretty scary stuff and has totally taken over my life.

Along with exams to revise for and assignments due, you can probably see why I have been struggling. Looking back at my past heath issues, I wish I had documented more. I was worried I would come off as whiney or dramatic or attention seeking, and so I held back until a good way into my health issues. While I don't know how serious or long lasting these current health issues will be compared to my Lyme journey (hopefully not as long!!!) I still want to document it. I want to document more of my life on here. The good, the bad and everything in-between.

However, this presented me with an issue. I want to blog and I want to document my life more vulnerably, but physically I am not in a place to be giving my blog the time and energy it requires for my posts to be of a good quality. So I was left with a question; do I blog at a lower quality than I would like or do I give blogging a break until my health is improved? 

I have been giving it a lot of thought and considering why I started blogging in the first place, have decided to just try upload some shabby posts. It breaks my heart a little but it won't be forever, and I know I will be grateful for these posts in the future. 

Now how was that for a long, chatty ramble.
I hope you're all slaying the new year and if you're not, be kind to yourself and try again tomorrow.

Peaks and valleys my friends, peaks and valleys.


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