Getting A Diagnosis~ Lyme Disease.

I have been wanting to write this post for quite some time but it never really felt right (I will explain why later) until now. This blog has always been something quite personal to me and I am usually pretty happy to share what is going on in my life. I really enjoy having this blog and enjoy sharing these parts of my life. However, it can also be a little daunting sharing such personal things, so bare with me. In this case, I feel the need to share not only for my personal gain but in hope that it will educate others in an area I feel not many are aware of.

So, in my case this all started about 6 months ago, towards the end of May. I remember suddenly getting pretty ill. I was completely wiped out and was struggling to go about my normal day. Being around the time of my exams, I assumed that the stress of A-levels and revision had just exhausted me and that I would feel better within a few days of rest. Throughout my life I have had a tendency to get sick pretty easily and was always catching a cold. So, when this came along I didn't think much of it. I thought that it was a little odd how quickly it had come on, but I just assumed that it was nothing too major. Then, I started to accumulate more symptoms. Along with this intense fatigue, I started to get really strong headaches, pain throughout my body and my vision started playing up. I have never had great vision, hence why I have glasses, but it just got worse very suddenly and my glasses didn't make much of a difference. After this, we decided it would be a good idea to take a trip to the doctors. 

Over the next month, I had taken numerous trips to doctors, had a few different blood tests (which I really did not enjoy by the way... I have a tendency to get more than a little faint), get even worse symptoms and still no answers. By this point I was having chest pains, more frequent pains in my knees and back, difficulty concentrating and with my memory and all my previous symptoms had worsened. Overall, I just really did not feel like myself. Typically, I think that I am a pretty positive and bubbly person, but practically overnight I had switched and just felt like a completely different person. At this point, the doctors were struggling to give me a diagnosis, all tests had come back normal, including Lyme's, and it was beginning to look like I had CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome). I really didn't feel like this was my diagnosis but I couldn't think of any other answers. Throughout this time, I was constantly asked about my home life and school like, asking if I was depressed. I can obviously understand why they have to ask this but I knew that I wasn't depressed and I knew that it wasn't all in head. But as time went on and we still had no answers, I began to worry that maybe I just needed to get over it. I knew that as hard as I tried, that wouldn't work but I was simply running out of options. 

I had started my first part-time job back at easter and only a couple of months in I had to take a month off due to the illness. Having had a month's rest and no longer having to worry about school, I felt a little better and managed to go back to work. This was only a part-time job where I worked 5 hours, twice a week but I still struggled with this. I had to sleep before going and I was in pain the entire time. It was really difficult and I dreaded it each week. However, I needed to earn the money to pay for a exhibition planned for 2016. It finally came to the end of summer and I knew that school would be starting soon. I knew that I wouldn't be able to manage school and work together and it really worried me. But, I sat down and figured out that I should have earned just enough money alongside the other fundraising ideas I had planned. I was so so thankful that I was then able to quit my job. I hadn't had the job very long but it was what was best for me and I knew I would be a lot happier without the job to worry about. 

The next week, school had started and I was feeling well enough to attend. I didn't feel like my normal self, but it was good enough. I was still having difficulty in class in terms of my concentration and memory abilities but I just figured that I needed to work harder. I think this was around this time that a lovely lady from our church got in touch and asked us if I had been tested for Lymes disease. She had a friend who was diagnosed with Lyme after many many years. Many years too late for him. My symptoms sounded very familiar to him and he was worried about me. We then got into contact with him where he began to share his knowledge about the disease with us. I hadn't really ever heard of the disease up until then and found it all very interesting. It was around this time that we discovered that the tests in the UK are very unreliable and that the doctors do not know very much about this Lyme disease. I didn't remember having a bulls-eye rash, the main symptom that doctors appear to use for this diagnosis, nor did I remember ever seeing a tick on myself. As familiar as the symptoms sounded to me, I just didn't think I could have this disease. 

By the start of October I was missing school. My symptoms had worsened again and I literally felt as if my body was shutting down. It then continued to get worse to the point where some days I couldn't even get out of bed. I believe it was around this time that we decided to look into private Lyme testing in Germany. We had discovered that this rash was only found in about 50% of sufferers and that ticks can be as small as a poppy seed meaning that I could easily have been bitten without realising. The more research I did, the more people I found who also didn't realise they had been bitten and had very similar symptoms. Speaking to this friend who is a sufferer, he also was feeling worried for me as he recognised the signs and symptoms all too well. We also had learnt that the longer you leave treatment, the worse the disease gets and can leave you with lifelong issues. With this in mind and still no answers, we decided to go with the private tests. I was very fortunate that my parents were willing to go to this effort and pay the additional money or the private tests as I know that no everybody would be this lucky. 

We had the blood taken and sent off to Germany and my symptoms continued. I was too unwell to complete any school work and was always worrying about my health, my education and even my future. It felt like this illness was going to stick with me forever and I worried that I wouldn't be able to live the life I wanted. I am a pretty positive person and I tried to keep these thoughts at bay, but as you can imagine, they arose every now and then. About a week after sending the blood, we got the results. My mum was actually out when she received the e-mail but she couldn't open the document on her phone so she called me to do it from home. I was seriously hoping that the results would be positive (as strange as that may sound) because I was just dying for an answer. I was really really nervous before opening the e-mail and I was shaking like a leaf.

I finally opened the document to see the words 'negative' over and over. My heart sank as I assumed this meant no more answers. However, I then scrolled through the rest of the document where there were lots more results with numbers and other things I didn't really understand. One thing that stood out to me was 'indication for an actual cellular activity against borrelia burgdorferi'. To me, this sounded like it was saying I did have the disease. At this point I was just very confused and didn't know what to think. So, my mum send these results to a lady from the private testing base in England and to our friend, the sufferer, asking if they could interpret this for us. To which they responded telling us that it looked like I did, in fact, have Lyme disease! I was so so so beyond happy upon receiving the news. I had finally been given an answer after 6 months of struggling and a month of being in bed. I know that some people go years and years and years without getting diagnosed and I really feel for those people. I am very thankful that we were able to go down this route and finally receive at least some form of answer.

Throughout this time I have often wanted to write about it on my blog. However, considering I had no idea what was wrong with me, I didn't know what to write. I also had many theories about what it could be but didn't want to offend anybody who was an actual sufferer. Finally, when I did have something confirmed to say, I felt too unwell to write about it, hence why it has taken me so long to write this post. 

I am very aware of how huge this post is right now so I think that will be all for this post. However, I still have a ton more to share about the symptoms in detail, trying to get treatment, my NHS journey (the different hospitals and tests) and where I am at now. I plan on sharing all of this information, but if you have any specific questions about this then feel free to leave a comment or contact me directly. 

I am still not well, however, I am getting there and feeling better than I have in weeks and weeks. 

Thanks for reading,

Holly Xx

Messy bun.

A messy bun is my go-to lazy hair. Having thick curly hair, having it down often leaves me feeling like a lion (I am hoping to get it cut soon so hopefully that will solve my problem. I can't wait!) . I also hate having my hair in my face most of the time so I end up just throwing it back into a messy bun. Now the typical 'messy bun' is usually pretty high and looks cute and messy. However, this does not work for me I have quite a lot of thick hair. This means that in an attempt to create this cute bun the whole messy aspect just doesn't work and the actual bun is big and heavy meaning that gravity takes over pulling it down. In result, it pulls on my head and creates this whole 'flat on top and big on the back' kind of vibe. Definitely not cute.

So, I have discovered the perfect way to create my own messy bun that looks pretty cute and doesn't pull at all. It is a very basic low messy bun that is great for when you just need tog et your hair out of your face. In order to create this, you take a hair band on your wrist and just pull your hair into a low ponytail. However, when pulling the hair through, don't pull it through the entire way. Then, twist the band and repeat the last process until the band is right. Super easy, super cute and it literally takes 10 seconds. 

Here are a few pics of the end product...

I hope you enjoyed reading about my messy bun and maybe you fancy giving this a go too. To make this a little less messy you can pin the bun into shape or you can just leave it as is, the choice is yours.

Have a lovely weekend and I will speak to you soon.

Holly X

My Bank Holiday Monday.

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Happy Friday! This week has been pretty busy for me (hence the lack of posts- I explain more later) and Monday feels like it was weeks ago. However, today I wanted to share what I got up to last Monday as I had a lovely time. 

So as it was Bank Holiday, the entire family had the day off and we decided to go to Weston-Super-Mare. We never made it to the beach this summer and the weather was being very English so we decided on Weston. Weston is great for days like this as it still counts as a beach, but it has lots more to do. So we all grabbed our Wellies and coats and drove up there.

Once we arrived we headed to the pier. We all brought along our 2ps and spent them all on the 2p machine where I won a little teddy bear! Then we headed to a little restaurant where I had a sausage, chips and gravy (a beach day must!). A lovely lady thought me and my sister were twins because we both had our hair in braids and had matching coats. People often say that but I don't see it ! Haha! Having finished that we headed to the ice cream parlour. Now let me tell you about this ice cream parlour. The interior is very diner like (which I love) and they do the most amazing ice cream sundaes. So, of course, we purchased a HUGE sundae that is probably meant for 4 and shared it between 2. Then once we had eaten too much and felt a little sick, we headed down to the beach area. It was very muddy as the tide was way out (typical for Weston) but we were prepared so we went and enjoyed the mud. We messed around and laughed a lot. It was great fun! We finally headed off the beach where I went on the Ferris Wheel and Carousel (still my favourite beach ride) before finishing our day at Costa.

I had an amazing day and enjoyed every second of it. I also managed to snap some lovely pics that I might share some other time. Thanks for reading and have a lovely weekend. 

Holly X

P.s- It appears that school and blogging 5 days a week are a little difficult and I don't want my posts to become rushed and boring. Therefore I have decided to commit only to 1/2 blog posts a week. If I have more time then I will post more but I just thought I would let those who are interested or follow my blog aware.

My Braces Experience: Getting my braces tightened (the 1st time)

About a week and a half ago I got my braces tightened for the first time. So, I thought I would write the second post in 'My Braces Experience' series. The first post can be found here if you wish to read that first.

One thing that surprised me about getting braces was how much it hurt afterwards and for how long too. The majority of my friends had braces in the past and so I was aware that they would hurt afterwards for a little while, but my teeth were so so sensitive for an entire week and most people's discomfort only lasted a few days tops according to my research. Another point that I had taken away from my research was how much it hurt when you got them tightened. Most people had said that the tightening was worse than the fitting... and that made me nervous. Getting them fitted was a really unenjoyable experience for me, for at least a week and then to hear it was going to be worse this time. I was thinking 'Oh great! Will I be living off soup for 2 weeks now?!'. But as it turns out I was absolutely fine.

Getting them tightened

The actual process of tightening the brace was relatively fast and completely painless. If felt really weird and sounded funny in my head. I have no idea why but for me it was just one of those body squirming 'this feels weird' experiences, but not at all painful. It just feels unnatural. 

Post- tightening 

Considering that the actual tightening process had been painless, I automatically assumed that the pain would kick in afterwards. We (my sister, mum and myself) went over to a cafe for breakfast afterwards and I thought 'ooh I better eat quickly before the pain kicks in'. My teeth felt slightly more sensitive when eating but not painful. We then left and returned home where I continued to wait for the pain to kick in. However, the pain never arrived and I remained a happy bunny. I thought it was kind of strange that I had escaped painless, especially after hearing everybody else stories. But I can honestly say that it was a painless experience. Now apparently, this means my next appointment will be more painful but I guess we shall see. I have got 4 and a half weeks to prepare for it anyway.

How my teeth look now

Here is a photograph of my brother and I from the other day compared to a photo prior to getting braces. (I am aware that these are not the clearest or attractive photographs but they are the ones where I thought you could see the difference the most.)

I am honestly, so so impressed with the difference already. That one tooth (the main reason I got braces) is practically straight now and I have only had them 6/7 weeks. Even the dentist appeared to be impressed with my fast moving teeth. I am hoping that this means my braces can come off earlier than I first thought. However, I don't know and trust my dentist's opinion more than my own. 

So yes, here is my braces update. I am super happy with the progress and was very pleased how smoothly the tightening process went. I plan on doing another update in about 5 weeks time once the brace has been tightened again. 

Thanks for reading,

Holly X

My Braces Experience : Making the decision and getting them fitted.

Today's post is a little overdue... actually 6 weeks overdue to be precise. Oops. About 6 weeks ago I got my braces fitted and I wanted to do a little ongoing series about my experience. However, today I will be getting my braces tightened for the first time and I am only just now writing about getting them fitted... oops. Better late than never, right? 

So yes, today I wanted to talk about my entire process of getting braces from deciding to have them to getting them fitted. I know when I was making this decision I was reading a ton of posts and watching a ton of videos on other people's experiences, so I thought I would post my own. 

Deciding to ask 

As you can probably see from the image (rather interesting looking image may I add) above, my teeth were never super bad. I never had a dramatic overbite, or even dramatically wonky teeth. In fact, my teeth were in pretty good shape up until a few years ago when that tooth on the left (right in the image) decided to go on the move backwards. Now the majority of people never even noticed this tooth until I pointed it out, however, I ALWAYS noticed it and it drove me insane. In photographs, I always hated how it looked and thought it ruined my smile (which in retrospect it didn't but whatever I wasn't happy). Anyway, just in case anybody reading didn't know this, you can get braces on the NHS for free if you're under 18 and they believe you need them. So with this in mind, not long after turning 17 we had a dentist appointment. It was only a check-up, however when the dentist asked me how my teeth were getting on I decided to bring it up. I told her how it was causing me discomfort (which it was by this point) and how I didn't like how it looked (which I really didn't) and she referred me to the Orthodontist at the hospital about a 30 minute drive away. This was where all of my friends who got braces on the NHS had gone and where I figured I would go too. After waiting months, I finally had an appointment. 

Going to the Hospital Orthodontist

When we got to Orthodontics we had to wait in the waiting room for quite a while as they were running behind. This was a little inconvenient but I didn't mind too much as I understand that sometimes things take longer than expected. Also, the waiting room was overcrowded due to this delay, again I didn't mind too much. Although it did get quite comical when a seat came free and everybody was too polite to sit in it. Being younger than some of the others standing in the room, I thought I would let someone else have the seat. Although it appeared that everybody had the same idea and we all were standing around this empty seat. It made me chuckle. Anyway, we finally had our appointment where the man told me that my teeth were not too bad, but if I wanted to then I could get braces. I obviously did want them as this tooth was uncomfortable and annoying to me. However, the men then told me that once my braces were off, I may have to wear a metal wire behind my teeth for the rest of my life to stop the tooth going back. Now this put me off. In my mind this meant I would have some huge uncomfortable piece of metal stuck in my mouth forever. "It's up to you" He said, but I had no idea what to do. I couldn't make my decision right there and then so I went away to think about it.

Making my decision 
Not long after my Hospital Orthodontist trip, I had an appointment with my dentist hygienist to get my teeth cleaned. During this appointment, we (being my Mum and me) brought up the topic of braces and my recent trip. We explained what had happened and why I was so apprehensive. The hygienist then went on to say that this wire was actually only very small and lots of people have to get it these days. He said it became unnoticeable and that have braces can actually help to reduce future teeth issues. So I was sold. All of my prior worries had been wiped out and I was sure that I wanted braces. Then we told my dentist that we wanted to go ahead with the braces. However, my head then started to fill with new worries. Would I look horrible with braces? Am I not a bit too old to get braces? They all seem like petty kind of worries but I didn't want to be feeling self-conscious for the next couple of years. Invisalign may have been better, but that wouldn't have been on the NHS so it was out of the question. However, with the days between myself and my eighteenth birthday slowing getting shorter, if I wanted braces then I'd have to decide soon. So I did, and after a little more research I decided to go for it.

Preparing the braces
Luckily for me, having taken longer to decide meant that I was actually able to be one of the fewer people able to get my braces done with my actually dental surgery. This meant that we didn't have to travel so far (great for my mum) and I was in the comfort of my dental surgery (great for me). So around the time of my exams (I believe but it may have been another date) we started preparing the braces. This included having the braces mould completed and having bands between my teeth. Having the braces mould completed wasn't an ovally enjoyable but it was bearable ... for me at least. My mum, on the other hand, was a nervous wreck. While I sat there feeling nervous and not enjoying it but still managing to just breathe through the unpleasant experience, my mum was on the edge of her seat. As soon as it was done and I sat up, looking over to my mum, my mum was frantically asking if I was okay as if I had just undergone some life threatening surgery. Anybody would have thought my mum was the one having braces. It was very comical! Then, I later had 6 (I think) elastic bands fitted between my teeth. I had 4 on my bottom row and 2 on top. These elastic bands were there to make gaps between my teeth in order to allow room for the brace brackets. The bands felt weird for a bit but never caused me any pain.

Getting them fitted
Now I am not 100% sure, but I think it was a couple of weeks later that I returned to get the actual braces fitted. Firstly, I had the bands removed. This just felt weird. Especially afterwards when I had these huge gaps. I felt like a little girl again with my teeth just fallen out! Then I had the actual braces attached. Now I honestly am not entirely sure what she did during this process as I was trying my very best not to think about it. I am an expert overthinker and worried I would get myself all worked up if I thought about it so I tried not to think too much about it. But the process was painless and only took about 45 minutes at the very very most. It was a little uncomfortable and stressful to me but it was bearable. It was once the process was complete that it felt the weirdest to me. During the process I had this big thing on my mouth that made me look like Wallace and Gromit. Apparently I looked hilarious. Anyway this device thing stopped my gum/lips from touching my teeth so it didn't feel all too different. However once this device was taken off, it felt so wrong. Not painful, just wrong. Like all I wanted to do was take the brace off. I felt as if I looked like a duck, but I really didn't look too bad to be honest. At the time I thought I looked awful and I wanted to cry but it wasn't too bad. Some people have issues talking once the brace is fitted, however I luckily escaped this issue so that was good for me.

The first week
A couple of hours after getting the braces fitted, they started to hurt. Nothing too dramatic but for me, it was just this constant dull ache and it drove me up the wall and back again insane. I couldn't eat properly for at least 4/5 days and it took at least a week for the pain to go away. From hearing a number of other people's stories, the pain doesn't usually last that long but in my case it did. After the first week had gone by it started to get easier. I got used to the feeling and how they looked. The pain left (most of the time) and I got better at eating.
Although eating can still sometimes be difficult as my front teeth don't touch like they used to (so I have to eat differently than before), it a million times better than that first week.

Now, 6 weeks in, my braces only occasionally cause me pain and I have adapted to how they feel. I also don't care about how they look anymore as I figure that they will be worth it. Tomorrow is my first time getting them tightened and there will (hopefully) be a post next week as to how that went. But, that is all for now. This post was way longer than I expected it to be but was something I desperately wanted to share. Feel free to share your experiences or tips in the comments. 

Thanks for reading,

Holly X 

My Baby Cactus

The other day, upon a little browsing in town, I stumbled upon these Cacti/Succulents in Wilkinsons and just had to buy them! I often see super cute room décor on Pinterest or Tumblr, full of desks and window sills with an adorable selection of little cactus. Despite my swooning over the cacti, I still never purchased any as I didn't really know where to get any and always thought they would be expensive. Yet, when I came across these little guys, I couldn't resist the temptation any longer.

The big succulent in the middle of the photograph above was £4 and the other small three cacti came together in a set of £4 also. I thought this was a very reasonable price and am so so very happy with this purchase.

I love my new little plants so much, I even decided to name them! The biggest one is called 'Carlos'. Then on the left (bottom pictures) is 'Judy', followed by 'Henry' and then 'Todd'. A little weird I know, but what can I say, it's love.

Holly X

My beautiful H&M dress

Hello, Everybody, I hope you are having a marvelous day!

Finally, some summer weather has arrived in England. The other day or my wonderfully

large shopping trip I purchased this lovely dress. This dress is from H&M and cost £19.99 and I am 

completely in love. 

Firstly the colour. Mint green is one of my favourite colours. I think that it is just

such a pretty colour! Of course, this is what originally caught my eye in the shop.

Secondly the style. My typical dress would be a skater dress and I feel that this style

generally looks good on me. However I decided to step outside my comfort zone a little and try on this style, and I must say that I was surprised to see that I actually liked how it looked on me.

I'm not saying I look the best but I think its looks alright and I like it. The final feature that sold me this dress was the detail. The dress is covered in this stunning lace. I am a sucker for lace. On top of all of this, the bottom of the dress has this little lace fringe sort of thing (sorry I am rubbish at describing things, just look at the picture), and I think that is super pretty too. All in all this dress is perfect and as long as England provides me with a decent summer I shall be getting plenty of use from it.

Side view

Back view

The bottom of the dress

That is all from me for today!

I hope you have a great day.

Thank you for reading.

xxX Holly Xxx